Alzheimer's.

Alzheimers. We've all heard of it, but do we know what it is?? Lets talk about it for a minute, shall we?

It all started years ago. I can't remember the day, I can't remember what I was wearing and I sure as hell can not tell you where I was.

But I do remember what was said to me.

"Nik, Nonnie has Alzheimer's."

"oh wow", I thought to myself, "that sounds bad.."

Little did I know, that I would end up going to school for Therapeutic Recreation, which just so happens to do a lot of work with Alzheimers.

Little did I know that I would come to learn SO much about it.

So.. what is it? According to ALZ.org, It is a form of dementia, which has no cure, that slowly effects memories, and eventually daily tasks. It attacks healthy brain neurons and kills them.

So now I know my grandmother's brain is killing itself.

But thats not even the worst part of it all. The worst part of it all is the stuff the research can't tell you.

The cold, hard facts.

Fact: My grandmother will never know the man I marry, regardless of if she's at my wedding or not.
Fact: My grandmother will never know my children.
Fact: My grandmother is forgetting who I am.
Fact: The woman who has held me through every mistake and pain this world has thrown at me, cannot remember my name.
Fact: IT HURTS!!!

It hurts the people who love the victim of Alzheimer's disease more than it hurts the victim themselves. I use the term 'victim' because thats what i believe my Nonnie is; a victim of the disease that is attacking and murdering her brain. Alzheimer's has no cure, and it will eventually kill her.

Until then, I will fight for her life. I will fight for my life. I will fight for my fathers life and his siblings lives. May genetics be ever in our favor, because I just couldn't do this again with my Dad.

Loving someone with Alzheimer's is almost like playing a rigged came of cards, where it's winner takes all and the disease holds the winning hand every time.


I love you to the moon and back, forever and always.